Why millennials are signing up to party with strangers

Dating apps are for hook-ups, and bars for drunken revelry. Enter the curated house party, the new way to make friends
When Mumbai-based social media consultant Farishte Irani first came across a social media post about a music-themed house party with strangers, it struck her as an interesting way to meet new people. But too much of an introvert, she worried that she’d be the person in the corner no one talks to.
“Initially, I was socially awkward and terrified,” says Irani, 23.“But then I was put in a circle of strangers and we were all asked to share a story from our lives. It really helped me open up.” Since then, Irani has been a regular at house parties hosted by BeatMap, an offline social network for curated experiences, and says it has helped her find some great friends, and partly overcome her social anxiety.
BeatMap is among a series of new initiatives in metros like Delhi, Mumbai and Bengaluru that invite people to attend or host house parties with strangers, and bond over music, board games, movies or stand-up comedy. Their rise is partly fuelled by growing numbers of young professionals who’ve moved cities and struggle to make friends. Harisankar PS, co-founder and CEO of Mumbai-based BeatMap, was inspired by his own experience of leaving his hometown Kochi to attend college in Delhi, reinventing his friend circle, only to shift to Mumbai for work and find that he was without friends again. Founded at the end of 2017 in partnership with performing arts collective Kommune, it has hosted over 110 parties across nine cities, with over 7,000 sign-ups so far.
One reason behind this house party trend is the lack of avenues to meet people in India, says Suyash Sinha, founder of Scoot, a website for home-hosted social events. Having lived in 13-14 cities throughout his life, Sinha had a first-hand experience of the challenges of making new friends. “In Europe, you can strike up a conversation with someone in a bar or a restaurant. Here, you end up talking only to your friends.”
Since it started in 2017, Scoot has organised over 150 events — from wine and salsa socials to evenings with dogs — and claims to have 8,000 members, primarily in Delhi and Bengaluru. Sinha says he’s heard of people meeting at Scoot parties and finding startup partners as well as the romantic kind. To ensure safety, there’s a five-step verification process for guests as well as hosts.
“When you’re past 25, you get over the desire of going to a pub or a club, and instead want to go somewhere causal and have a meaningful conversation,” says Srinivas Shinde of Playce, a website that tells you who is hosting a rooftop movie night, a brunch or a backyard bonfire in Mumbai and Pune.
Not just platforms, even individuals are opening up their living rooms to host parties — for a fee. Akshey Kapuria, a chartered accountant from Delhi,began hosting house parties as a way to earn extra money when he was living alone last year, but soon struck friendships. “I have found at least four friends I catch up with every week,” says Kapuria, 28, who has hosted five parties so far and cooked for each himself.
Aashish Thakur founded Delhi-based community Aragma, with three friends on Instagram seven months ago. “This is an escape from the monotony of hanging out with the same set of people.” Aragma’s (Greek for chilling) low-key house parties range from Diwalis dos to open-mics for singers, and are priced anywhere between Rs 500 and Rs 1,000 for food, snacks and beverages. BeatMap events are priced between Rs 500 and 900 and numbers are usually restricted to 25-30 to keep it intimate.
To break the ice, everyone is encouraged to share a story. “The two big problems millennials face are loneliness despite being hyper-connected online and indecisiveness in the face of infinite options,” Harisankar says. “They are looking for deeper, meaningful and story-worthy experiences.”
Shweta Vaidya, 28, a digital advertising writer from Mumbai, attended her first BeatMap house party a few weeks ago. As a trans woman, Vaidya was apprehensive about attending the event alone. “It was one of the few times I was out as myself in a non-queer gathering. I was cautious and guarded but I ended up having a really good time, even delaying my cab to finish a long conversation,” she says.