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Maybe I'm a hypocritical hip jazz-head whose real passion is what used to be called "women's films." You know, the real weepers, like "Stella Dallas" and "Dark Victory" and "To Each His Own." The kind of films that academic feminists have been deriding for the past 30-40 years as exploitive of female emotions if not conducive to the suppression of women to the masochistic roles that they have always played--at least prior to our own enlightening times.
If so, count me among the audience of women who find in these films characters of vulnerability, yes--but also female role models of inarguable strength--since we see their fortitude and endurance emerge only after their characters have overcome adversities that would have extinguished the lights of those of us once mistakenly typed as the "less gentle sex."
Perhaps the difference--as least in "5-hanky" movies like "A Man Called Ove" and "Mr. Church"--is the foregrounding of a male figure who takes upon himself many of the sensibilities and so-called "weaknesses" which, in the sentimental adult movies of the '30's, '40's and '50s, were assigned exclusively to women. In the earlier films, it was women who suffered, then won; or who lost but never gave up--for they embodied a vulnerable humanity that was lacking in male characters. The men were usually shown as either: A. stolid and unaware of, or indifferent to, the struggles of female protagonists played by Bette Davis, Joan Crawford and Barbara Stanwyck; or as B. white knights" who took the time and had the decency to come to the rescue of the putative weaker members of their species.
Ove, Mr. Church and Kumail are a different kind of male--not guilty of neglect (despite gallant attempts to take the blame) and not romantic saviors who come to the rescue of the female protagonist. All three of these guys experience, to greater or lesser degrees, the same travails as their female counterparts. All three are capable of--and let's use the word, even it it seems to be said too easily--"EMPATHY" (let's face it, where else are you going to find it in America these days?) Certainly not in government! (Has there ever been such an outlandish excuse for a role model?)
Of the three films in question--all available for no charge from Amazon Prime--"Ove" may get the nod from some of the more conservative viewers who remember the days of upstanding, responsible, self-dependent adults who looked upon society as made up of equals who--regardless of their social class, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation--were good people as long as they showed up on time, did their job conscientiously, and treated each other fairly. That's Ove. (But it's not America, and as a 100% Swedish-American, I'd argue that it's not Sweden either.) Try an Ingmar Bergman film instead, not a movie that allows its main character to DIE as decorously, tidily, responsibily as he lived.
(Perhaps, needless to say, the last 5-10 minutes of "Ove" were a bit much for me--contrived, or carefully arranged to construct the exact audience some screenwriter and director had in mind. Outside of those last few minutes, my only reservation about "Ove" is Ove--he's too culturally interchangeable, a "grumpy old man" (with a good heart) who, in the absence of Walter Matthau, is sure to be played--in a completely gratuitous Americanized version--by, who else?, Tom Hanks, of course. But why? To atone for that abysmal excuse for a movie entitled "Forrest Gump"? A film that did nothing more than supply a life and a memory--both impoverished of imagination and depth--to the boomers of the '60s and '70s who were too stoned to have one of their own?
That brings us to the much-disparaged and desecrated (by the know-it-all, oh-so-cutting-edge "liberal" critics) Mr. Church. First of all, as a Christian, I believe that the last shall be first. Those critics who heap their wrath upon Eddie Murphy for accepting a Christ-like "servantly" (trans. "servile") role are bereft of imagination and common sense--or is it because they are blinded by the most extreme form of political correctness? The type who resent Sinatra's singing "Ole Man River," not even knowing the song was written by Oscar Hammerstein--or that it owes its place in the Great American Songbook more to Frank Sinatra's definitive interpretations than to any other performer's, black, brown, beige or white? "Mr. Church" was the best Eddie Murphy I've seen since SNL and "Beverly Hills Cop"--in fact, it's even better for the actor's "playing against type"! I found it deeply affecting and no more manipulative than "A Man Named Ove." But do not read a review. Go directly to this Amazon treasure and see for yourself.
Which brings us to "The Big Sick"--perhaps the lowest-budgeted of these three low-budget films. But also the best. The film is so honest, unpretentious, real and natural that you can't help but surrender to each of the characters, recognizing something of yourself in each one (I won't enumerate all of those qualities here). "The Big Sick" is also the least slick and least manipulative of the three films. What does the film mean? That we are all--once we get past all of our ethnic and religious attachments--one big family? (Except for parents--at least Kumail's, who are unable to accept Kumail's bride (or any of his own choosing) if their heritage, their ethnicity, their Muslim faith forbid it.
Let's select just one feature that places "The Big Sick" above the other two excellent movies from Amazon Prime. I have never--not in 65 years of watching movies--seen a performance as "real" as that of Zoe Kazan, who plays Emily, or Kumail's wife. If you want to see sacrifice by woman, you'll need to watch Kazan give herself up to her role--completely--as the woman who gives herself to Kumail, then withdraws the offer, then becomes deathly ill and even comatose, only to come back to us--but not to Kumail. She makes us understand that the challenge--to an all-American, Caucasian,Waspish woman--to accept the love of the son of parents who insist on an arranged-marriage--is to her an even greater burden than to the rogue son who has chosen her over his family and relation. What woman wants to assume a responsibility like that? (A gold-digger or professional home-breaker, perhaps--but not this woman made of the most human material--ever malleable to the sicknesses around her and the emotions inside her.)
She would deserve, at the very least, an academy award--if anyone witnessing her performance in this film could believe for one instant that she were acting. Give the award to the casting director. As an actor, Zoe Kazan is as good as it gets. (I believe she graduated from Yale with an acting or drama degree.) I wish she or her teacher would come to a class of mine and teach my students. In English literature, reader-response theory requires students who can position themselves "in" the text, becoming Adam or Eve or Satan--all of whom command our (i.e. any alert reader's) sympathies--at different moments in Milton's "Paradise Lost." That's how I read everything--Browning, Faulkner, Melville, Ferber, Chaucer, Homer, Euripides, Sophocles and, of course, Shakespeare. If I can't, I re-read and, only then, admit defeat and go on to something else. But I was never able to teach students how to read this way. If anyone could teach the impossible, it's Zoe Kazan.
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Reviews with images
DVD defective and illegal. Unauthorized
Could not watch entire movie because the image above kept popping up on screen. Movie is not only defective but is an illegal product, authorized. This is the 2nd DVD of The Big Sick with this problem. EXTREMELY ANNOYING. WILL NOT PURCHASE ANOTHER DVD FROM AMAZON!!
Top reviews from other countries
Madie
Ein gefühlvolles Drama mit sehr viel Witz
Reviewed in Germany on April 28, 2018
Madie
Reviewed in Germany on April 28, 2018
Der Film erzählt die Geschichte von zwei Menschen, die unterschiedlicher kaum sein könnten und sich dennoch verlieben. Er erzählt aber auch die Geschichte darüber, wie das durch aufgezwängte Traditionen und Vorurteile zerstört werden kann und wie schwierig es sein kann, Familie & Tradition mit Liebe & Unkonventionalität unter einen Hut zu bekommen. Der Film ist wunderbar emotional, aber gleichzeitig auch unglaublich witzig, charmant, liebevoll und einfach fantastisch - ein durchweg gelungener Mix! Auch die Story zwischen Kumail und Emilys Eltern hat mir gut gefallen, denn sie entwickelt sich langsam und sehr authentisch.
Durch die wundervolle Mischung aus Gefühlen - ohne jeglichen Kitsch -, Drama und Humor wird es nicht eine Sekunde langweilig und man lacht und weint und hofft den ganzen Film durch.
Die Schauspieler sind allesamt exzellent gewählt - allen voran natürlich Kumail Nanjiani, der sich selbst spielt, und der unglaublich viel Authentizität, Charme und Humor an den Tag legt. Doch auch Zoe Kazan als Emily kann durchweg überzeugen. Auch Emilys Eltern sind hervorragend gewählt und sorgen für viel Lacher und Dramatik.
Ein Film über Liebe, Familie, Unterschiedlichkeit, Tradition, Vorurteile und Hoffnung.
Fazit
Ein Film, der einen zum Lachen und zum Weinen bringt und mehr als sehenswert ist! Toller Cast, super Story, Gefühle ohne Kitsch, eine ordentliche Prise Humor und einfach wundervoll verfilmt! Einer der besten Filme seit langem!
Images in this review
Amadis
Culture-Clash-Liebesgeschichte mit humorvollen Zwischentönen
Reviewed in Germany on August 25, 2018Mr. S. Downes
I admit I was swayed by "Easily one of the best Rom-coms of the decade" or "Romantic and Hilarious"
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 22, 2018Just a dude
Not interesting enough to keep me engaged.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 6, 2022